How to change your tone of voice to communicate effectively
Remove friction by optimising your tone in conversations.
Have you ever heard a parent say to their child "...watch your tone!".
Honestly, I never really knew what that meant as a kid. I don't recall learning much about tone in school either (although I wasn't that attentive in English!).
It was only when I stepped into running a business, I began to understand tone of voice and its effect on communication.
Tone of voice is an essential communication tool and skill for leaders. Using the right tone will improve your communication effectiveness, and therefore relationships with others.
The better we communicate as leaders, the better we can serve our team and our customers. All that translates into healthy growth and revenue.
Tone is how we talk
Why is it that you feel more exhausted on Zoom, compared to being in the room with people? Could it be because you spend the first 5 minutes reminding everyone they're on mute? Partly so!
It's actually because a lot of the contextual clues that make communication easy are degraded. Things like facial expressions, body language and tone of voice— all harder to subconsciously process when the person is in a 10x4cm box on a computer screen.
This highlights how important tone is to communicating effectively. What we say is only half the work of communicating, the rest is how we say it and also when we say it.
Tone harnessed with a careful choice of language is a powerful way to communicate.
Through our Coaching, we’ve noticed that many of the daily frictions business owners experience with their employees and customers can be traced back to using a wrong tone of voice in their communication. It’s forgivable, with all the pressures on leaders it can be easy to forget tone.
Nonetheless, it's an important communication tool and a skill that leaders can develop daily.
The types of tones
There are five tones we commonly use in daily conversations. In brief, they are:
Motivating tone
Motivates people for success, keeping them engaged and inspired in their professional and personal lives.
Informative tone
Enhances knowledge, inspires growth and imparts information. It makes teachers more effective.
Humourous tone
Genuine funny (not mocking or sarcastic) anecdotes or quotes that keep people in a positive mood.
Soft tone
Makes people feel safe and nurtured, opposed to hard or angry tones. Use in intimate conversations.
Respectful tone
Conveys your kindness, humility and truthfulness. It's one of the most important tones as leaders and admired as a strength.
But it doesn't stop here. There are many other tones to be aware of:
Formal tone
Informal tone
Conversational tone
Factual tone
Directive tone
Assertive tone
Questioning tone
Politician tone (OK I made that one up, but it’s real!)
and more.
How to choose and change your tone of voice to communicate more effectively
Tone isn't as much what you say, rather how you say it.
You can have one message, but through different tones end up at very different end results.
Before you start a conversation, consider what could be the optimal tone of voice given your audience, the purpose of the message and the overarching context.
Tone is how you frame the message. But first, you must be aware of your environment.
For example, you wouldn't use a humourous tone in a business board room discussion (least, if you want to be taken seriously!).
What to consider the following when choosing a tone of voice for your message:
Your audience (what are their characteristics and preferences?)
Your timing (how urgent or important is this message?)
Your brand personality (the consistent language of your brand)
Powerful speeches are often spoken with a motivating tone, that conveys passion, empathy and compassion.
But a monotonous tone, mixed with a factual tone will put an audience to sleep!
A respectful tone is perhaps the most important example tone of a leader and one to default to in any situation. It enhances the quality of your communication and conveys your kindness, humility and truthfulness to others. If in doubt, default to a respectful tone.
Actionable step: Consider the tone of voice you use in your conversations with others. Make it a focus this week to be more aware of your environment and consider the optimal tone to frame your conversations.
Put it into action, learn from your mistakes and reflect on your experiences.
Let me know how you go!
Thanks for reading.
This insight was written by Lachlan Nicolson.
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